Is who to marry.
Assuming you do get married, that is. I plan on it personally. I’ve talked about my woman multiple times here, but always tangentially through other posts. At the time I met her, I had a very specific list of criteria in my mind, all of which she met and then some. I still consider myself lucky to find her.
My perspective is obviously colored with my background. I am a man born into a family of average middle class resources in the first world. This is lucky. However, my culture also has a number of myths. I don’t subscribe to the idea of “There are no good X to date”. There are plenty of good women. There are plenty of good men. Generally, people who say otherwise are bitter in some capacity towards the hand life has dealt them. No one gender/group is out to get you, inherently unfair, or other negative trait.
With the negativity out of the way, let’s focus on the much nicer things. It is obvious that you need to seek someone who is right for you. You need to agree on politics, money, relationship roles/lack therof, children, and a number of other things. You also both need to find each other attractive, be of appropriate age, ect. There are a number of criteria to meet, but my life experience has taught me to hold out until someone really does meet that criteria.
My anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up. She is kind, calm, incredibly attractive (a mannequin built with her proportions would be said to be unrealistic body standards), beautiful, works well with me and my tendencies, is easy to have fun with, incredibly trustworthy (she never even acts in a way I would begin to question – we have never once had to have an unwanted discussion about boundaries). She is good with kids, and we agree on those. She is incredibly intelligent. Just nerdy enough in all the right ways, but will also hit some squat PRs with me at the gym. She talks and communicates brilliantly. She is honest. She is open. She is helpful, and puts in work in life. She keeps me grounded when I get insane ideas. The sex is outstanding. We can spend time doing just about anything together and love it. I really could go on. She even got me into watching love is blind, a reality TV show I thought I would not like. My mother has commented that I seem peaceful and happy, and she credits a lot of that change to my girlfriend. My family is overjoyed with her. She makes me want to take care of her, which I do.
I cannot tell you what to go for. I can tell you that it is out there. Do not settle.
In the meantime, I have her ring size memorized. She’s told me the type she likes. While we’re not in a rush, and that will be a bit, but I truly do not expect that to take much longer. I would be extremely surprised if by this time next year her title has not changed. I used to think marriage was more of a life stage thing than specific to the person, but I now see that is not true. I cannot say I have ever felt this way for anyone, and I have full confidence consigning the rest of my life by her side. She enriches my life beyond what I though was possible.
Never though a bottle of Vanilla would cause all of this.
I know you read these. I love you baby. And for the rest of you: never settle.
Keep an ear open,
Whisper