I’ve taken a new primary job that does not involve night shift. Still emergency nursing, which I have grown to love, but no night shifts. Just days and evenings. No more staying up until 5am as I am now – this is my last string of nights. This was a long overdue change, though it is temporary. Future plans are likely to place me on night shifts again, some years into the future, at least for awhile. However, for the next 9 months, no more of that.
My girlfriend is out visiting family elsewhere in the country for the next few days. While I miss her dearly, it has given me time to get things in order around here for the move; we are moving, for the next 12 months, to a luxury apartment, which is a large departure from the norm for me. But I have decided that the use case here is more than worth it. Besides, it has a dog washing station for our lovely new dog.
There is still much to do with quite a lot of busy times, inside of work and outside of it. We continue grinding the gym, which continues to show results. I continue working towards the nameless future plans. Community involvement gets deeper, with this new job being out rural, where I have wanted to go for quite some time. The views of the stars are priceless. Not to mention the inner city volunteering, which as usual opens one’s perspective.
I have never in my life been more tired at the end of the day, while simultaneously feeling the most alive I have ever felt. I have functionally obtained the freedom to do whatever I want, and now I spend this freedom filling my time with, as it turns out, difficult things. Difficult things that leave you satisfied at the end of the day. That and meaningful things, such as time with friends, family, and so on. Much of my old “entertainment activities” I simply can no longer enjoy. They feel vacuous. This is not because they are worse than they were but because I am better than I was.
Now the only choice is what deep end to dive into. Whatever I choose, it will surely be far from normal. It never was going to be.
Keep your ears open,
Whisper