If you had told past me how I would be running this relationship I would probably have some questions. It’s not so far into left field that it concerns me, but I definitely don’t run things the way I used to or used to believe in.
For starters, I just don’t do 50/50 anymore. That split splits people. This is my woman (I will not have any naysayers – I am her man just the same, put your high horse back in the stable and solve an actual problem rather than nitpicking wording). I want to, and can, provide for her. She provides for me in her own way, in ways I greatly appreciate. She has told me, directly and very understandably, that she greatly appreciates my ability to provide. There is zero doubt in my mind or hers that if she got pregnant that I would have no issue covering for her and the baby to stay home as long as they need for their wellbeing. I make no efforts to push this outcome on her, though she states she would not at all mind extending a mat leave a bit beyond the government mandate to say the least. She is a homebody, and would likely be quite content with our dog, the baby, and her mother over for a few episodes of sitcoms.
There is complete and absolute trust. I have no doubts in my mind about her activities. This is reinforced by basic rules like personal cellphones being less personal. We don’t have some weekly scheduled phone searching or anything, but I’m free to use her phone to watch her tiktok feed (much better than mine) and she is very free to grab my phone and look something up. She can use my computer anytime to do work. Why would I care? I have nothing to hide. We have each other’s location. We tell each other what we are doing. There was no inciting incident for “needing” to do this. There was no “agreement” made. We naturally just came to this as our whole selves and this is where we arrived, and let me tell you, it’s damn peaceful. She has never, not even once, so much as put herself in a situation that would give me the possibility of doubting her, and I have never asked her for a moment not to do something. She just operates in an appropriate manner at baseline. She knows where I am: at home, at the gym, at work, with my parents, at the climbing wall with friends, or possibly Jasper, and that’s about it. Simple life, good life.
I spend a lot more money than I previously would. While saving and being robust is important, we can afford luxuries. We have fun. We do things. We go places, always together, not out of forcefully being together but because why would I not want her there and vice versa? Besides, she is not an expensive woman, she is an affordable one that I make expensive to spoil her. This only sometimes backfires when she really wants to go get a sweet treat and I must also pay for one for myself or face her big sad eyes. And I cannot handle those.
What makes a good relationship? Simple. We fell into it. It was not a high effort process. I now understand what “made for each other” means. I thought that these parts of building a relationship were like painfully constructing a house nail by nail. She slipped into the cracks of me like Japanese joinery, and I to her. Get your mind out of the gutter. Or don’t, up to you. I’m too busy sleeping well to care, on the nights we go to sleep.
Rest well,
You know I am.