It is common that we are unhappy with our life in some regard. It is common advice these days to make small, steady changes so as to not overwhelm yourself in order to make the new changes “stick” or some other cushy such program. The benefit of these programs is that they are easy to sell because they take little effort and make people feel like they are making a difference.
The downside is that they don’t work.
I find it best to make broad, sweeping changes to many areas of life at once. The new environment created for yourself will feel alien, but this will due to human nature quickly become home. The more that changes all at once, the better. Want to change the way you interact with others? This will be much easier if you interact with different people in a new environment and a new routine, because your brain will be out of your old patterns. Humans are remarkably resilient, and you will find that you are capable of getting through most any change.
For instance, consider the following 2 sets of changes for a person who does not work out:
- They will start doing a full body workout every 2 days
- They will start doing a full body workout every 2 days, tracking macros, getting at least 0.8g/lb bodyweight of protien, changing the way groceries are purchased to aid the workout process, schedule sleep properly for recovery and stick to the schedule, with a new gym partner, while at the same time changing the way their work schedule is oriented to make time for all this while increasing time with their romantic partner and working on a creative pursuit while changing jobs.
Most people would argue that 1 is going to be more successful. From experience, I disagree. The environment created by change #2 makes it stick. Perhaps another post will follow up on the importance of the environment, but I digress. #2 will not only cause more successful change but more meaningful change at the same time, and will likely bleed over into other areas of life in a positive manner. The person changing has no choice but to continue – their life has fundamentally shifted. Person 1 has all their old habits surrounding them at all times. Person 2 has no net to catch them, because this is their entire routine now. Not having a net is motivating.
It is also important to note a difference in kind vs degree between old lifestyles you want gone. A difference in degree is “I will run more” an a difference in kind is “in addition to running I will lift weights”. The first is going to be far less impactful than the latter. Doing more/less of something will never change as much as doing none of something or starting something entirely new. Sometimes a difference in degree is needed; working out once a week is generally insufficient and we just need to turn that number up. But more often than not, it is a difference in kind that is required. Far less often are we doing the right thing not enough than we are simply not doing the right thing.
So the next time something feels wrong, consider a change in kind instead of degree. And consider bundling them – it is rare only one thing needs to change.
Whispertrees