Hello again, everyone. I took a good deal of time off from this to do other things. In that time, I have learned a lot about a lot of things, much of which will be discussed here. For now, I will lead with the most important lesson I believe I have learned. This developed over the last several years, but came to a head in the last little bit. Those of you who fancy yourselves leaders be best to learn from my experience here. I thought myself a leader for a long time, but lacked many of these important qualities that make me one proper today.
It is important to be gentle, yes. But it is also important to be strong and dangerous. Speak softly and Carry a big stick, if you will.
You can cultivate an environment that feels safe for those you love, but you must also make it safe, by force if necessary. This does not (usually) mean physically fighting someone. This means applied leverage and ensuring that hurting yourself or those you love approaches an impossibility.
Finances are one end – you must make sure your family will not want for food, shelter, or other such needs, but also you must ensure they are not wanting for culture, joy, or life’s many pleasures. It is not adequate to secure only the base needs, as I thought for quite some time, but also the things we enjoy. Your family will expect you to provide, as you should be plenty capable. You must both earn enough money to carve the path your family needs and shepherd it responsibly towards this end.
You must also be physically strong. There is no excuse for this for 99.8% of you – I have seen a man with cerebral palsy bench press more weight than 95% of adult men will ever touch. I have, for the last 8-9 months, found a new flow with this, and while my workouts have been good for the past couple of years, in that last period I have seen more benefits in this regard that ever before. Everything has grown, but my back and glutes/legs in particular have shown massive improvement and feel physically different to pilot. Weight that I would have struggled to move 3 or 4 years ago is lifted with ease. This provides obvious aesthetic benefits, but also enhances function, physical performance in all regards, daily life, and my ability to physically protect those around me. And for those 0.2% of you who do have a good excuse for why you cannot be physically strong, try your best; you are the ones with the most to gain from it, and the world will not make excuses for you.
You must also be prepared, without obsession. Have backup plans that look like first plans. Make life for those you care for seamless. They will never see the backup plan be kicked into action, rather just seeing the goal accomplished as if it was the first plan.
You must have a robustness, and an ability to tolerate hardship in yourself if necessary to prevent it on others. But you must use the Big Stick you spent so long developing to avoid hardship in the first place. Use it to cleave a path through the difficult parts of life.
You must also have knowledge and be able and willing to share it. Position yourself in relevant areas with undeniable prowess, such that people come to you with their questions and requests. This need not be every area, it never will be. But it must be in several relevant areas.
You must be adaptable and willing to learn. This will not benefit you today, but some day years down the line you will realise you are far more capable because you strove for learning.
These things, along with others, form the foundations of your Big Stick. It is not enough to speak softly. It is not enough to only be gentle. You must also carry a big stick, and use it relentlessly to take space in the natural world for yourself and those you love, and to defend it against the many misfortunes of life.